How long has it been?

I've been wanting to write down everything that I've experienced since the last blog I did.
but i guess it's been awhile.
I've learnt a lot, but there're still lots more to learn.

I've watched two good movies since, "Fireproof" and "The Blind Side"
would recommend these to be watched in freshcom.

It's been weeks that I stay away from porn and masturbation, although I tripped a lil bit while researching photos from internet, but i quickly told myself to encounter it.
the temptation grows stronger within me these days...
like in the "Fireproof" movie, on the 20th-ish is probably the hardest
at one point, i felt like i was letting myself to fall
but i kept telling myself it's your choice, make the best of it.
i'm sure God's spirit that's been fed with God's words grows stonger too.
i'm longing to see i'm totally healed passing 40 days.
it'd b wonderful to see that after 40 days, the "me" isn't longer the "old me"

and I'm here to straighten my motivation of staying away from what is considered sin.
not because i'm gonna get God's help to score a girl
not because God's gonna help me in my career promotion
not because God's gonna give me good life ahead
not because I expect God to grow my hair
not because i'm expecting God's blessings,
but it's all about a change of myself like what God wants me to be.
everyday i gotta face denials, many denials

today i also learnt something that i need to repent from,
sin also means, not doing what he's supposed to be doing
i have souls waiting for me to lead, to be taught, to be brought as Jesus' disciples.
i really have to go and grab them, no more loathin.
alright!

and my prayer grows as no longer a make-up
God, teach me how to be a good leader!